Yoga with Jordan, Canasta with Rosie and Papa, "Art" with Caroline and Hannah

October 13, 2023:

Alright, I’ll pop a little bit in this before I see my friends. So today, I woke up quite tired because I hadn’t gone to sleep til like 2am, and almost didn’t go to my yoga class because of that. I laid down again, and thought that I might not even be able to get a few-hour nap, so I went to yoga. That’s when I decided to take my meds with yogurt, at 8:30am. It was strawberry and banana & cream yogurts.

For yoga, today Jordan was teaching, and I talked a bit to a lady I’d met before named Meg. She asked how I was doing, and I said I was doing ok but felt tired, which was the most honest thing. In class, I started to think about how I should try not to have “too high” expectations for seeing my friends, because doing that will lead to disappointment, probably. After class, I talked to Jordan about a few things, including tattoos because she’d never noticed my snake before even though I know I’ve worn short sleeved shirts to her class. She doesn’t have any, and I asked her what she would get if she absolutely had to have one. It would be a signed version of her maiden name, which she likes more than her married name, even though they sound similar. Also said a few words to the yoga teacher Debi, who was in the class too.

My other big conclusion from yoga was that I was quite glad that I went. It wouldn’t have been good to just sit and home and do nothing for those hours. After yoga, I went down to the pool with the full intention of swimming a couple laps. Unfortunately, there was a class going on. I asked a life guard, and apparently it was water aerobics. He said it’d be done in 45 minutes, and I decided not to sit in the hot tub doing nothing for 45 minutes, so I just did quick dip and then I showered and left.

Back at Papa’s house, we worked on the Pacific Crest Trail jigsaw puzzle a ton, the one I got at Half Price books when I was there with Hannah. It’s a very hard one, much harder than other puzzles I’ve done. We also had lunch, which was split pea soup and grilled cheese. I also had the slice of apple strudel cake I’d picked up from Open Door the other day. After we did all that, I’m sitting here now. We’ve decided that I’m going to spend the night at my place tonight, to see how it compares and what I like to do. I also filled up my med box for the week, in preparation for the weekend. Now I’m just waiting for it to be time to see Hannah and Caroline. It’s gonna be at 5:30 or 6pm, and I might play cards with Papa while I wait.

Alright, we did play a game of Canasta, and the dog clearly played an important role, as the photo shows. Then, we decided that I should run to my place to drop off some stuff I’ll need to spend the night, like my laptop, and also some yogurts for the morning. I also printed my photos of the day. Then, I stayed there til 6pm because Hannah wanted to shower, and then I drove over to Hannah’s house. We started off by having a glass of mulled wine. Then we got our art supplies out. Caroline was crocheting and Hannah was collaging. For me, I tried to use the art kit that Odyssey had sent me for a bit, but couldn’t really get in to it. So honestly, for the rest of the night, I did my diamond painting. I explained it to them too. Thanks, Jessica, for the idea.

I even talked with them about how the point of an activity like this is really just to spend time together and talk, not to produce amazing artwork. At that point, Caroline said that me doing my diamond painting was kind of the same as her working on crocheting, something you can do with your hands while you think about other things. I know I told them that I’m trying to reframe the TBI as something that has allowed me to come to all of my realizations. I also asked them about what they usually do at night, since I’m working on being ok with being alone with myself. Their answers included watching TV, crocheting, playing the word games I usually play in the morning, working on crosswords, etc.

In a way, the night kind of made me realize that hearing about other people’s problems makes me feel more normal. After seeing them, I went home and played some Canasta on my phone while I listened to music. Listening to music does help me quite a bit because it makes me feel less alone than sitting in an empty apartment in silence.