Retreat and dinner with Monica

October 23, 2023: Alright I'm phone writing. Meds at 8:08am with two eggs, though I ate the food at like 7:45am and forgot the meds for a few mins. I also thought that the true opposite of depression is excitement and caring about the future. Then I posted filler pics for all the days of the retreat, which I'm using tonight to write this at like 10pm from my phone. This morning I also got myself scheduled for more Open Door shifts on the Tuesday and Thursday nights I get back. I also printed out my list of "important thoughts" to have with me at the retreat to write notes on, and then I forgot that page at Kirsten's house.

OK, let's get to the retreat. I had lunch at Kirsten's and then my mom drove us like half an hour to Empire, Colorado. When we got there, we talked to people about my medication needs right away, and I kind of feel like this week could be what I had been looking for when I entered the mood disorders unit with the hope that they would manage my meds for me for a week. Here, the chef's name is Randy, and he said that tonight's dinner was 16g of fat, and he'll calculate the rest tonight, since he had assumed I could have anything over 11g fat when he first heard about my situation. I corrected him. 

The other really cool thing at the retreat is that the girl who's my roommate literally also lives in Minnesota, in Brooklyn Center. Her name is Monica. Monica is the person in my photo, which I took right after I explained BeReal to her for the first time. Another cool fact is that there are two other people who had a similar experience with Spanish that I did. One guy literally said that when he woke up from the coma he was only speaking Spanish and doctors thought he was a native. I mean, he is a tiny part Cuban at least. That guy is named X (Sean) which I forgot and had to ask the next day.  

Then, we went to a "yoga session," that really felt more like a guided meditation. It was "yoga nidra," and Google tells me that nidra means sleep in Sanskrit. They literally told us we could  bring blankets and pillows and fall asleep. So my first yoga session at the yoga camp wasn't very "yoga."

What else... Basically, there's definitely people who are less seriously impacted than me, but I feel like most of the others are in a really similar place. And also, later in the night right before bed, I had a really nice talk with Monica. We're not sure if we were put rooming together because of both living in Minnesota, but it's cool anyways.

Grateful: Grateful that I'm not throwing up anymore and I can eat food without being so scared. Also about food, I'm very grateful to the chef Randy for saying he'll get me all the fat counts for the whole week's meals.