Photos during mom’s hair apt., pedicure with mom, toes and jigsaw puzzle

September 30, 2023:

Ok this morning I had my meds at 7am with two yogurts, peaches and mango&cream I think. I was feeling a bit nauseous, so I waited like 20 minutes to have the yogurt. Then I had one of the yogurts, and I did stupidly start to throw up a little, but I kept it in my mouth, so I definitely didn’t lose the pills. Then, I realized I just barely had time to shower before mom picked me up. In the shower, I had some meaningful realizations. I realized that I had literally been equating “being normal” to being happy, because I had become a lot more happy when I became more normal after the cancer, when I was able to do the normal 20-something thing of working at Fogo and partying. Literally it’s just that working at Fogo made me feel normal, and that made me a lot happier than I had been. So now, everything that seems “not normal” about my life, like the having cancer, really pisses me off. And THAT is the reason that the cancer has been recently bothering me a lot more than it had been.

Mom and I were planning on going to brunch together, but due to the fact that I felt a little nauseous still, we didn’t do that. Instead, we went to return something at Marshalls and pick something up at Target. Then, she took me with her to her hair appointment, and while she was in there, I started to work on my DSLR photo of the day project. My thought with that one is that I’ll use the feelings wheel Whitney sent me, and I’ll randomly choose one every day and try to take a photo that captures that emotion with my DSLR camera. Today’s word was “dissappointed.” I still have to download the photos. At the hair place, I also took a selfie with mom since there was good lighting. I’m wearing the TBI shirt that Caroline gave me, and also sunglasses because the light was kind of hurting my eyes.

Then, when mom was done getting her hair cut, she told me that sometimes not eating enough could make you even more nauseous, so she took me back to her place and gave me a little cheese quesadilla and a bowl of yogurt with bananas and blueberries, It was about noon, so lunch time, too. After that, we started knocking stuff off our to-do lists. One thing was the fact that I had a fraud alert on my credit card that we had to call the bank for. So we called the bank, and then learned that there were also bad charges from the bill I paid last month too. Basically, we found like $300 of charges that I had definitely not made, but that I paid last month. So now I’ve literally cut up my credit card, and they’ll mail me a new one. We also decided to clear out my gmail and Google drive storage, since I was running out of space. We cleared out my Google drive large files a bit, and also deleted old large emails with attachments. I also showed mom a photo I’d taken during the hair appointment on my camera, of a coffee cup on the road that could possibly be “disappointment” because the person hadn’t even finished the coffee, but it was trash on the ground.

After that, we were talking about what the options were for the day. I decided on the pedicure, because I still had a bit of a headache, and didn't feel quite up to doing another photo walk. So we went to Nails & Co. for that. For the pedicure, I was thinking maybe white, but then I decided on like a silver sparkly thing. I’ve got a photo of both our nails when we were done too. After the pedicure, I decided I still felt a bit nauseous, so I just tried to slowly eat a cheese stick. Felt a little better afterwards. Then, I napped a bit and we made dinner. It was a quesadilla with cheese and refried beans, and it had the right amount of fat for me to take my meds with. So I did the meds at 6:26pm, after I’d eaten most of the food, and not felt like throwing it up. Then, we decided to work on a jigsaw puzzle she had. It was kind of surprised by how much I enjoyed it. It was basically a collage of postcards, and it was interesting to find all the words and places that were mentioned in it.

Grateful things: Soon